Bye Bye 2005

Finally i get my lazy ass to write something about the year that is gonna fade away in just an hour or so. Before you judge me , I did have plans today just could not go coz i was sick :p . oh well it is not like i have big plans for new years anytime. moving on to the actual point..

2005 :An old friend who has been with me for what seemed to be ages, now going down to rest. Never to return , never to bring back the days that i cherish so much. But by saying good bye , I hope i can immortalize the memories that you have had for me. You have held beautiful memories for me. Been there with me through my dreams , disasters , new habits, new friends , older ones becoming more than friends , crushes and then getting over them :) .

Time Capsule , 2005.

First my crushes :

Girl + Cute smile + Sense of humour = Me likes
Biggest Crush --> Had the biggest crush of my life , this year. And didnt regret one moment of that. She was so much like me and yet there were so many arguements and misunderstandings (if that is a word :O ). But the thing to be remembered is the way we came through all the bitter times and how strange it is that i only remember the good times. Finally ending up being great friends with her. But towards the end of the year, I havent had that much time to spend with her, Hence my resolution for the new year, i guess , should be to spend more time with good friends.

Girl + Cute smile + Sense of humour = De ja vu.
Hmm.., a close second --> Just a little while after i thought i was over the first , I ended up getting to know this other girl. Havent known any girl like her , well havent known anyone like ther other one too ;) . The way she makes me feel when me talking to her is.. hmm.. in one word accelerating :D. No one else made me feel that way all my life. Not even the girl that is mentioned above. But I are her a close second only because of the fact that i dont miss her as much when she is not around. And currently working on how to get over her :p .

And whats common between these two ? A good friend (well a very very good friend who reads me like an open book :p) suggests that these are two very two intelligent girls, people who fascinate me. Not by thier looks (ofcourse both of them are rather cute :P ) but with thier brains. This is something that got me thinking and also believe is true too. Guess i am a sucker for girls with brains , a great sense of humour , And very very independent.

And now my friends...

Alcohol + good friend = No secrets.
--> Believe me , you dont wanna be near a friend when you are drunk. you end up telling them your deepest darkest secrets. Ofcourse, If you are too drunk it wont matter who you are with, you open up :p . But it wont matter if it is some guy you dont know, it only matter if it is a god friend because you begin thinking if he lost any respect for the friendship you have.

Old Friends + Right times = Good friends
--> There are a few friends that I tried to get away from. Cut them out from my life as much as possible. But life , as it is, throws up surprises. People , well friends, stand up for you, they are there for you when you least expect them to be. I am greatful for that. My resolution in this aspect : DONT BE HASTY.

Online + lots of time = loads of friends
Orkut --> hmm.. what a find it was. Has finally brought me in contact with people who are into the same stuff as i am. Finally showed me a place to find great minds like me ;). and yeah , also meet the funniest, outrageous , laid back people that inhabit this world. Popularily know as HYDERABADIS. And i guess it is time for me to be thanking orkut for showing me so many good friends and also a couple of cute girls in between ;) .

Close Friends
And about the friends that i always cherished , I didnt say anything till now. May be it is only because of the fact that they stuck with me as they have always been. They never backed off from anything. Pretty much did what they always do best, be there for me when i need them and at the same time give me enough space to be myself. Thanks for understanding me and being there for me :).

TIME FOR DREAMS AND DISASTERS

--> The only thing that has been going bad for me this year, should be things in my personal life at home. Which I am beginning to realise are affecting me more than I want to. If there ever was a way to get out of all that, I wud be glad to do that. But then again, It is family and you cant run away. Have to be here for them :. PATIENCE being the key word, I should keep going.

-->One thing I hate discussing most, My studies. Has been a mixed performance. But I realised that I am more capable of what I actually ended up with. CONCENTRATION , which i lacked , should be what will get me what i want.

DREAMS -- > Makes me think if I have any. I keep dreaming about a lot of stuff. But how much of it is relevant and what percent of that is actually concievable is a matter to talk abt some other day. Presently here are the things that are left undone and would like them to be done in the near future by working slowly towards them.

-- Find a girl of my dreams ( :(( i have no shame , and am asking for any possible help :P )
-- To leave a tip for Bill Gates ( WHY NOT :D)
-- To do what i want , rahter than being told what to do. (hmm.. rather be the way i am now :P)
-- Write a book (which i would give for free to all those whoz gonna comment here :D).

It tooke me over an hour to recollect the memories of 2005, and as i finish this i realise that the time is almost 12 am , jan 1 , 2006. Oh well the clock just struck 12 and it is 2006. Happy New Year everyone. And good bye old friend. I am sure that i am going to miss you..

Something I Realised Today

I have always been curious. asking too many questions as a kid. cute sometimes, irritating otherwise.I guess that is the most defining trait of what makes me as of today.Friends that i have today have learnt to live with it, i appreciate that. Though each of them might have opted for a different technique to handle my questionnaires....
School - it was one phase in my life where i was the last person to know anything.Paid too much importance to all the wrong kind of shit and hence ended up being the loser who knew nothing. Hence i justified myself saying "none of them are my real friends".
And later on i really did make good friends, hell GREAT friends. who never hesitated to share anything with me. Be it the sorrow or the happiness or the gossip. And when anyone of my friends did not share something with me i felt really pissed off and sad. I never realised why until today.

Today while talking to a good friend (online sister # 2), who was trying to cheer me up abt something, i realised what is that was actually making me sad. The sole reason behind many times i became depressive. I realised i paid too much value about good friends sharing everything with me. My curiousity crossed over emotional barriers from enthusiasm to the root of my definition of a good friend. I realised that i have been defining my friendship with anyone based on how well they open up to me. And when they tend to hold back from me, as it happened recently with a friend, i begin doubting my , so higly cherished, friendship. Which sometimes is the only thing that drives me.Anyways what i realised was that i dont give room for privacy to my friends.Room for themselves, stuff that they alone should know and not by others under certain circumstances.

As soon as i realised that, i was not sad anymore.I was happy, because i had done it again, looked deep into myself and found out the reason.Sense of accomplishment overcame the sense of apparent loss. (apparent only after i realised..).So what i decided at the end of it all was to value my friends privacy and give them thier own room and space , because at the end of it all, who else are they going to talk to other than me...